Re: Listen Up!

[Bill.Chiles@CHILES.SLISP.CS.CMU.EDU]

     I know that often I unconsciously do things that bug you..

This statement sounds a lot stronger than I would describe the situation.
It's more like you do one or two things that bug me, and hanging out in my
office is a big one.  I'm just extremely jealous of my office space, and if
it weren't for the dog, I'd shut the door and never answer it no matter who
came to it unless I was expecting someone in particular.  No one comes to
my house without calling first, and I don't know why people come to my
office without calling first.  Yes, I thought about leaving the dog at home
many times the past couple years, but I feel obliged to maintain his
standard of living now.  I'm a sap!

I also think it is harder for me to make you leave, even though you leave
readily when I'm direct with you (like this morning when I was working on a
letter to my mother).  For some reason, I care less about how others take
it when I tell them to leave, and I've established this expectation in
others that I'm likely to throw them out without any reason.

I think you misinterpret me otherwise.  All the things we joke about are
more like endearing quirks of your character.  Your loud voice doesn't
bother me, but it does bother me that I think it bothers Dirk.  Playing
with things in my office reminds me not to be totally anal rententive about
objects being in the place.  It is not that I don't want to see you every
day, but I don't like people coming to my office.  I feel intruded upon no
matter who it is; well ... unless it is someone I see once every couple
months, and then I don't mind taking 5-10 minutes.

Anyway, I'm just learning how to tell people what I think, and as I see it,
I've got about another 50 years to learn how.

Bill